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Beauty and the Earl Page 9
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Page 9
He scowled, though he couldn’t think of a way to explain why he was suddenly annoyed at both the couple before him and the woman at his side. He didn’t want to keep her.
And yet the fact that she didn’t want to be kept burned him down deep, in places he thought had died after his accident. But they weren’t dead after all. They were very much alive. And that was so terrifying he could hardly take it as he forced himself to remain calm and keep his feelings from his face.
Now if only it was so easy to keep whatever feelings these were from troubling his already troubled heart.
An hour later, Liam found himself increasingly irritated and, from Violet’s side glances, she recognized that he was angry but couldn’t understand why. And damn, neither could he. He just felt…out of sorts. And since he had spent years avoiding exactly these feelings, he wanted to lash out at everything and everyone around him.
Instead, he was sitting on a picnic blanket, watching Olivia, Malcolm and Violet chat like nothing in the world was wrong. Not that he was listening to a word they said, only stewing in his own thoughts.
A fact made very clear when Olivia took a sip of wine and said, “Will you ever return to London, my lord?”
He blinked, looking at her. “You are asking me?”
She drew back slightly. “Yes, Lord Windbury. We were talking about our return to the city in a fortnight or so. And I wondered if we might expect to see you and Malcolm there at some point in the future?”
She looked so damned hopeful, her eyes wide as she purposefully didn’t look at his friend. But there were dreams in the brightness of her face. Worse, Mal didn’t seem to be discouraging those dreams.
“I don’t know,” Liam forced himself to respond. “I haven’t put much thought into where I will go after our time in Bath is finished. But I don’t care for London. I swore to myself I wouldn’t return there again.”
He flinched as he thought of the circumstances under which he had made that vow. His words again revealed too much.
Olivia tilted her head, her gaze holding his. But unlike when Violet looked at him so closely, Liam felt the intrusion of Olivia’s stare.
“I suppose I can appreciate that vow,” Olivia continued. “After all, I understand there is little to bring you back to London. You have cut ties with your sister since her marriage, haven’t you?”
Liam heard Violet suck in her breath in surprise, and Mal jerked his gaze toward Liam. But he couldn’t do anything but stare at Olivia, feel her question sink into his skin.
“I do not speak about such things,” he managed to choke out.
Olivia hesitated, but only for a moment. “Of course, after what you went through—”
Liam pushed to his feet and turned away from his friends, from Violet. He stood there, on the edge of the blanket, hands clenched at his sides as he tried to measure his breathing, tried to find a way to control himself when what he wanted to do was snap at Olivia in a way he knew would bring Malcolm to her rescue.
He felt a touch on his elbow and looked to find Violet at his side. She looked up at him, dark eyes tinged with concern, but also with interest. So the topic of his past wasn’t as disinteresting to her as she pretended.
“Why don’t we walk around the lake?” she asked, her voice soothing like she was talking to an injured animal or frightened child. “I think we could both use the exercise.”
He looked at her, both wanting her at his side, and driven to push her away in order to protect himself, to protect her. Instead, he let her take his arm and led him away from Mal and Olivia.
In silence, they began a slow circle around the large lake. After a few moments they moved into a copse of trees that would put them out of the sightline of the other two and suddenly Liam felt as though he could breathe again. As he sucked in air, Violet shook her head.
“I’m sorry about Olivia,” she said softly.
“She only says the same thing everyone else does,” he said with a shake of his head.
“But it isn’t her place to do so. And she knows it.” Violet sighed with frustration. “Sometimes she just doesn’t think.”
Liam pursed his lips, his displeasure still bitter on his tongue after this very long and unsatisfying day.
“And what about you?” he bit out, his tone sharp.
She stopped in the path, released his arm and turned to look at him. “What do you mean?”
“You’re playing a game with me.”
All the color left her face in such a swift moment that he nearly reached out to steady her in case she would faint.
“A game,” she repeated, her tone flat and drained of all emotion. “I don’t understand you.”
He shook his head. “You found me and seduced me, but you pretend you don’t want to know anything about me. You never ask me about those things your friend addressed with me today.”
“Is that what you want?” she asked, folding her arms. “Because I’m confused by your sudden anger at me. After all, you tell me how women stroke you and pretend to care, how they try to force confessions out of you about a painful past and you don’t like it. But if I don’t do the same, then I’m wrong?”
He folded his arms. When she put it that way, it made him sound like an ogre. But he couldn’t help his frustration, even if he couldn’t explain it in the slightest.
“I don’t know,” he admitted through clenched teeth.
Her expression softened a fraction and she reached out. He watched as she took his hand, quite like Olivia had done with Malcolm earlier in the day. She wore no gloves and her fingers were soft and warm in his hand.
“I have been open with you,” she said softly. “More open than I have ever been with a man. And if I don’t ask you about the past, Liam, it isn’t because what has happened to you isn’t of interest to me. If you want to tell me something, I’m here. I’m listening.”
He turned his face, hearing his breath loud in the quiet around them. God damn, but he wanted to tell her everything. Everything he remembered and felt. He even wanted to tell her about his despair. About his emptiness. He wanted to pour himself over her and let her take, even for just a moment, the burden he had carried for years.
But to give her that burden meant to give her himself. If he did that, it couldn’t be taken back. It couldn’t be changed. And the future it implied wasn’t one he was destined to have. He had made that decision long ago.
He shook his head.
“We should go back,” he said softly, refusing to meet her gaze.
She was still and silent for a moment, then she released his hand. “Very well.”
She turned her face, but he saw a flicker of hurt in her normally unreadable dark eyes. He found himself opening his mouth, moving to comfort her or to make those confessions once more, if only to please her.
Instead, he motioned for them to turn around. “If we walk around the lake it will take us half an hour at best. Why don’t we return the way we came?”
She nodded. “Of course, whatever you’d like, Liam.”
Though she said the right words and didn’t seem to be pouting, Liam still watched her as they walked back to the lake and their blanket. He had hurt her, a fact that shocked him.
“Violet,” he began, but she stopped, staring, and his attention was drawn away to whatever had caused the shocked look on her face.
He drew back as he saw it. There, on the blanket, the food pushed out of the way, were Mal and Olivia. Naked and making love with an abandon that was as enviable as it was utterly shocking.
Chapter Ten
Violet stared in astonishment as Mal moved into a seated position, dragging Olivia with him so that she wrapped her legs around his back. He lifted his hips, the two of them groaning in time with every thrust.
Violet sucked in a breath. She and Olivia had never involved each other in their sexual escapades, though more than one lover had asked them to do so. But seeing her friend be so thoroughly pleasured was a surprisingly arousing thing.
Beside her, Liam seemed as transfixed, and they stared together as Olivia threw back her head with a cry that signaled her release. Mal laid her on her back on the blanket and she cupped his firm, muscular backside as he began to drive into her in earnest. He exploded without withdrawing from her body and they cried out together before he cupped her face and kissed her deeply, passionately.
Seeing them fuck was one thing, but watching them kiss with such passion, with such intense and connected emotion, was what made Violet turn her face in embarrassment.
Liam took her hand and motioned for the path. She hurried after him, casting a few glances behind her as Olivia and Mal continued kissing like they couldn’t get enough. Like they would never part if they had their choice.
And through her shock, through her titillation, she felt something else—jealousy.
But she couldn’t feel that. That would mean she wanted that kind of intense connection with…with someone. She cast a glance at Liam, who was dragging her along with a grim expression.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I don’t know what she was—”
She didn’t get to say anything else. Liam interrupted her by grasping her by her shoulders and spinning her around until he pinned her on a large tree by the side of the path. His mouth came down, hungry and hot on hers, and she melted against him.
He wasn’t angry, he wasn’t shocked by what he saw…he, like her, was utterly aroused. She felt it in the desperation of his kiss. She felt it in the hard swell of his cock that nudged her stomach through their clothes.
“I want you,” he growled, pulling away just enough to loosen his trouser fly and free his erection.
She gasped and reached for him, stroking her hand over him as he cupped her hips and lifted her, positioning her better to be taken. His mouth caught hers and he kissed her, rough and demanding, sucking her tongue and biting her lip. It was harsh and dark, and she clung to him as he lifted her skirts and shoved them aside to find her sex.
When he touched her, she shuddered, for she was already wet, already ready for what he would do. She rocked her hips toward him, demanding his taking, his claiming.
He obeyed her silent demands by pressing her sex open and lifting her into position to spear her in one, slick movement. She groaned as he filled her, stretching her and making her feel complete like no other man had ever done before. She dropped her face into the crook of his neck as he began to thrust, smelling his scent, feeling his pulse pound. She was lost.
She had been lost for a long time, but now she didn’t fear it. She welcomed it, she welcomed him.
He rotated his hips, cupping her close, and the slow burn of pleasure between her legs began to increase. He hit her so perfectly, rubbing her clitoris with his pelvis even as his cock stroked her inside until she was panting with the sensation. She drew back to look into his eyes and he smiled at her, so slow and so sensual.
She exploded, digging her nails into the rough fabric of his jacket as her orgasm ripped through her, took her over, stole everything except her awareness of him. He was everything, they were everything, and she cried out his name over and over as her entire body went limp with satisfaction.
He groaned as his own release followed shortly after and lowered her to the ground as he pulled out to spend away from her. She watched him tuck himself back into place and frowned.
Olivia and Mal had taken no such care. They could have created a child that day. It was a consequence she was certain Olivia was aware of. But she and Liam…well, they would never look into the eyes of a baby who shared his smile and her dark hair.
She blinked as she smoothed her gown and brushed loose pieces of bark from the back of her dress.
Liam offered her his arm. “You have a strange expression on your face, Violet. I didn’t hurt you, did I?” he asked as they continued on their way to the main house.
She flinched. “No, I was just having…it was an odd day and my thoughts are equally odd.”
He laughed. “I don’t know how you couldn’t have odd thoughts. What we just did doesn’t happen every day.”
She smiled because she liked his lightness after an afternoon of watching him fight with darker emotions. But inside, she felt no joy at what he said. After all, he was correct that what they had done didn’t happen every day.
And soon it wouldn’t happen ever again. And that reality troubled her far more than it should have.
Violet sat in the library, her legs tucked beneath her, leaning over a side table as she stared at the letter she had been writing to Lady Rothcastle. This was not her first letter to the duchess since her arrival in Bath, but it was the most difficult so far, mostly because she didn’t know how to explain what she had been doing. She didn’t know how to explain Liam to a sister who feared for his well-being.
“I don’t know anything anymore,” she admitted out loud to herself as she rested her head on her hand with a long sigh.
She was about to give up trying to write the note when Olivia stepped into the library. With a frown, Violet folded the sheet of paper and tucked it away. She didn’t stand, but merely stared at her friend evenly. It had been over an hour since she and Liam had discovered Olivia and Malcolm making love by the lake.
Olivia shook her head. “Where did you and Liam go? Why didn’t you return?”
Violet pursed her lips, her frustration with her oldest and dearest friend growing.
“Before we discuss that, I want to talk about something else. Why did you try to talk to Liam about his sister? His past?”
Olivia stared at her without even a fraction of guilt or remorse over her intrusions. “Isn’t that what you’re here for? To wheedle the facts about those things out of him and report back?”
Violet shot to her feet and rushed around her friend to close the library door. “Mind your tone, Olivia, you could ruin everything!”
Her friend folded her arms. “What everything, Violet? We’ve been in Bath for over a week and as far as I can tell you’ve only confessed your own secrets to the man. Have you even tried to pry any out of him?”
“Not exactly. I told you, it’s part of my plan,” Violet retorted, but she turned her back so Olivia couldn’t see her expression.
Olivia huffed out a breath. “Yes, I do recall the plan, but it only works if you begin to obtain information from your target.”
Violet spun and shook her head. “He isn’t my target—you make it sound as though I’m attacking him.”
“No, you aren’t. Though you should be.” Olivia sighed. “I’m sorry you feel I interfered by asking Windbury a few questions, but I was trying to help you. Though I judge by your frustration with me that you didn’t attempt to walk through the door I created by bringing up tender subjects.”
Violet sat back down hard in the chair she had vacated. She rubbed a hand over her face.
“No,” she admitted softly. “I didn’t. I suppose I could have—I think he might have told me something had I pushed. But…I couldn’t.”
Now Olivia’s expression softened considerably as she took a seat beside Violet and examined her closely. “Why?”
“Because I have been increasingly questioning what I’m doing here, Olivia. This man has been through so much and though his sister means well, what she and her husband have asked of me is a terrible violation. The guilt of that…” She cut herself off with a gasp of breath. “It eats at me.”
Her friend nodded. “You are a good person, Violet. You always have been, much better than I. But you cannot forget your goals, my dear. You have more to think of than just yourself.”
Violet dipped her head. “I know. I know that and I know that what I’m working for, who I’m working for, it’s worth this. But I can’t focus on the future too hard, Olivia. I don’t want to be disappointed if it doesn’t work out.”
She was shocked when a single tear rolled down her cheek. She hadn’t even realized she was crying, but there was such an ache in her chest. Such a familiar ache of regret and lon
ging. But now she felt a similar ache when it came to Liam and what would ultimately be her betrayal of him.
“It will,” Olivia said, squeezing her hand. “If you do this.”
She nodded as she swiped the tear away with the back of her hand. “I know you’re right.”
Olivia smiled gently. “Now where did you and Liam go today?”
Violet lifted her eyebrows, happy for the change of subject. “Oh, you have questions about that? I’m surprised considering what you and Malcolm were doing while Liam and I took our walk.”
Her friend’s eyes grew wide and redness flooded her cheeks. “I—we—you—”
“Oh yes, we came back earlier than perhaps you thought we would, and we saw you,” Violet confirmed with a shake of her head and a half-smile. “We saw all of you, actually.”
Olivia was shocked silent for a moment, but then she shrugged with a nervous laugh. “We may have gotten a wee bit carried away. I was truly sorry I upset Liam and Mal decided to…comfort me.”
“You did seem comforted,” Violet teased. “If comforted is a euphemism for something else.”
Olivia covered her face, but she was smiling beneath her hands. “I am embarrassed. I’m sure Lord Windbury dislikes me more than ever.”
Violet flushed herself as she thought of Liam’s passionate and utterly pleasurable reaction to that wicked scene.
“I wouldn’t say that,” she croaked. She shook off the memory. “But tell me about you and Malcolm.”
Her friend lowered her hands and to Violet’s surprise, Olivia’s face was glowing with such happiness that Violet could hardly look at her.
“He’s—he is—I—” Olivia stammered, trying to express herself as she clasped her hands before her heart.
Violet drew back, her eyes widening as the truth became so very clear, as clear as it had been when she saw them kiss after they made love.
“You care for him?”
Olivia swallowed and then she nodded slowly. “I do, Violet. I truly do.”